My 16 year-old sister was in town this weekend looking at colleges. She is so smart and sweet and fragile, it made me feel nostalgic for a younger version of myself. One thing I’m not sure of is if I was as intuitive as she is or if this is something that comes with being 16 in 2013. In one of our long talks, she told me that she wishes she was my age so that she could have money, confidence, love and of course go to concerts whenever she wanted. I almost laughed out loud. I certainly do not want to be 16 again, but youth is something I will always cherish. My only advice to her was that each phase of life brings new challenges. While I do love being 30 and the perspective this age allows me, I have my own set of insecurities that could rival those of a 16 year-old. It was a very raw moment and made me realize none of us are better off and all we can do is make the most of where we are today.
The other day I was driving, or blow drying my hair, or waiting for the barista to finish my coffee or running on the treadmill or SOMETHING just ITZ and I had an epiphany. The reality reputation as we used to know it has completely evolved. Hear me out.
Back in the day (high school/college/post college), if I did something questionable like get busted for drinking, fail a class, hook up with a sketchy dude, have a really bad lacrosse game, not get the job I wanted, break-up with yet another boyfriend…I would be concerned about my reputation.
Everyone thinks I’m a train wreck, I’m never getting into college, I’m going to fail out of college, everyone thinks I suck at lacrosse, I’m never getting a good job, everyone thinks I’m a serial monogamist and I’m never getting married…(this might be true) and so on.
The reality of back then is that due to the lack of social media, not that many people knew or cared about what was going on in my life. I had no idea how GREAT I had it. The majority of my neurosis was all in my head (that might be redundant).
Flash forward to present day and the reality is that people may KNOW what is going on in my life, but the knowledge is fleeting and they still don’t care. We currently live in a crazy voyeuristic world where everyone loves looking at each other’s business but really only uses that knowledge to compare to their own existence and experience.
Should I be going on a tropical vacation? Woah, that engagement ring is WAY bigger than mine. Wow their house is huge and so well decorated! They have such a fabulous life, I need to go out more…
Truly, while people may be looking at your content, you are only a fleeting thought, because eventually it all circles back to them.
What is the lesson learned? Well the obvious, try not to care what people think, but the less obvious, people don’t really care about what you’re doing unless it is something that they might want to do.
The less pessimistic version of this is live your life and understand every existence is special in its own way.
About a week after New Years I decided I wouldn’t purchase any clothes in the month of January. I did purchase a pair of gloves that ended up not being warm at all (in all fairness I was warned) which sort of prompted this non-purchase decision. Ok so it seems, as with any crash diet, that the more I abstain from purchasing clothing, the more I want. I decided that to satisfy my urge a bit, I would list five (go figure!) things that I’ve actually placed in my shopping cart but abstained from purchasing. This is not an attempt to make myself feel valiant or any more fiscally responsible, it’s more likely an easy way for me to ear mark things that I like in case I want to buy after January has come and gone.
These are not in any particular order.
In love with leather detail this year (and every year) but these tuxedo pixie pants from J.Crew are to die.
Newest fragrance by Tocca. I’m already obsessed with Cleopatra and I’ve been milking the sample of Margaux I received from Anthro for about a month now…
Boho boot by Boden – because I think I’m cooler than I really am.
Back to the basics of being a complete weirdo, I love these. They are no longer available in my size which is probably for the best. Def a small doses boot.
Not necessarily this sweater, but every fair isle or patterned wool/cashmere blend sweater, I have picked up and put back or just put in my “bag” and never checked out.
There, that felt better.
It’s me. I’m the new girl again. After almost five years working at the same company, I took an amazing opportunity and just like that, I’m new again. Being new has it’s perks and excitement including being able to mess up a little and not get in trouble, being the center of attention for like one minute and thinking everyone is cool right away before getting to know them. Some aspects of being new that are NOT fun are lunch time. That’s really my only complaint. Of course the first day you go out to lunch with a few people so that’s normal but after that you fend for yourself. Although, finding a place to grab a sandwich is a lot less awkward than bringing your own lunch and eating in the lunchroom. My obvious choice is bringing my lunch and cramming it down in less than 15 minutes at my desk. Now that I have an office, I feel especially creepy eating my brought-from-home salad at my desk reading Digiday or Adweek. My options for bringing lunch are limited though because I’m afraid to bring soup because I heard someone make a comment that they ‘hate it when people stink up the kitchen when they heat up their lunch’. I guess that also rules out curry. I wish I lived close enough so I could go home and eat in my apt in peace just for the first few months until I got the hang of it. Oh well. While I definitely have more confidence than I did at the start of my last job, there is really nothing more humbling than starting a new one. Guess I needed it.
There are several things I have not done before my 30th birthday. Below is a list of the top 30 things I didn’t manage to get done before today.So many things to look forward to!
1. Fake my own death
2. Put out a solo pop album
3. Buy property
4. Walk over hot coals
5. Donate my hair to Locks for Love
6. Get hit on by a male celebrity
7. Backpack across Europe
8. Attend a warehouse rave
9. Participate in a book club
10. Drive cross country
11. Dye my hair blonde
12. Make Coq Au Vin or Beef Bouruignon
13. Meet a Kardashinan
14. Get hit on by a female celebrity
15. Ride on a motorcycle
16. Do mushrooms
17. Attend Spain’s Running of the Bulls Festival
18. Change a tire
19. Climb Kilimanjaro
20. Live out West
21. Go paleo
22. Get a tattoo
23. Go surfing
24. Watch the Matrix
25. Get arrested
26. Get robbed at gun point
27. Get my boating license
28. Successfully wear red lipstick, a fedora, booties, bangs, hoop earrings or lucite heels
29. Get photographed for New York Times Sunday Styles section
30. Freak out about turning 30…Ok this one might not be true.
I’ve never asked the interns to get me coffee (although I’m tempted every day) but I do tap them daily for some useful non-work-related information.
1. Are ‘concert bras’ a thing and if so is there an age limit?
2. Is Dane Cook still cool and or funny?
3. How did you afford that Marc Jacobs bag?
4. What kind of mascara do you use?
5. Is Forever 21 still cool?
6. Were you upset when you found out that guy from Glee died?
7. Do you watch Glee?
8. How do you afford to buy lunch every day?
9. What kind of salad dressing do you use?
10. Wait, you’re still in college?
11. Is Gossip Girl to you like Sex And The City was to me?
12. Are crop tops in and can I pull one off?
13. Are you nervous the owners of our company are gonna see those pics?
Cruisin’ into my 30’s with a fresh look and feel for RUMA.