CFDA Awards Round Up

If you live under a rock or you just don’t give a shit about fashion then you’re in luck! This red carpet wrap-up has nearly nothing to do with fashion and mostly to do with hand-picked celebrities life choices.

The CFDA Awards are one of the most prestigious fashion events where designers, models and celebs show up to support their fellow fashionISTAs. In no particular order, here are a few highlights from the event – in case you missed G Rancid on the red carpet.


I almost didn’t even want to feature KimYe because they’re so trite, but Kanye is sort of smiling so I thought this could potentially humiliate him. Kim is so whatever for me. It’s as if I make a concerted effort NOT to care about her because she’s not a real human.


Someone needs to tell me who Gigi Hadid is. She’s like the Rita Ora of 2015 for me. No clue who she is and don’t care enough to Google. Not mad at her jumpsuit tho and she looks fit AF.


Nohomo but I could def go-les with Karli Kloss. I also do love a girl that can wear a deep V without looking like a hofosho. DVF nailed it with this one.

MK&ABlack satin drapes and capes aside – does anyone else notice how MK&A never open mouth smile? Do they have bad teeth? Seriously the number of times I’ve Googled “Olsen twins teeth” is becoming embarrassing.

Jan_JonesAnother gal-crush of mine, January Jones. My only beef is that she has this creepy smile thing happening similar to John Hamm. The sort of “I know something you don’t know” (sung) look. I don’t even care about her outfit – although I do love a jumpsuit – because she’s so pretty it doesn’t matter. I also love that she had a bastard child and wouldn’t tell anyone who the dad was because she’s that badass and doesn’t give AF. Go girl!


Ralph Lauren dress here, which is what immediately caught my attention. Then I followed the creamy satin up to the face and saw Katie Holmes and almost doubled over with stomach pain. Seriously tho, who invited her? An old rerun of SNL was on the other day that she was hosting and I thought the same thing. Who is sitting there thinking, “you know who would be a great, current, hot, interesting guest? Katie mother-f*ckin Holmes.” Someone is doing it and I would like their contact information.


I had to follow KH with someone I love. Can I BE Jenna Lyons? She’s such a #GIRLBOSS. But for real, she’s a lot of people’s boss. I’ve always wanted to wear a full suit no top look but I look like a walk-of-shame victim. JL nails it hard.


WHEN did Michelle Monaghan lose so much weight? I think she looks FAB but I hope it wasn’t Hollywood pressure. However, her career is blowing up so the correlation is undeniable. Either way, ya-look-great/waif.


I’m gonna come out and say that I did watch an entire season of that stupid Broadway show Katharine McPhee was on…THREE years ago. She definitely looks like she’s in disguise as someone who has more talent. Maybe a photographer or something? Who’s to say, but it ‘aint a former runner up to American Idol (or did we forget about that?)fat_jewThe Fat Jew. Drinking White Girl Rose. Hopefully the council gets it that he’s messing with everyone. I also can’t help but fawn over his Stubs & Wooten slippers.

betsey_johnsonFinishing off the wrap-up with my girl Betsey. She owns her shit, which I love. She doesn’t even care that it looks like she slept in her makeup the past three nights! I also have a eerie feeling that this is what I will look like in 20 years, and I’m surprisingly OK with it.



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