See you on the other side.

How is it that much of my deep thought happens when I’m blow drying my hair?  It only takes me seven minutes, but man do I get some good think time during that stint.  Today was no different.  As the sun beamed through my skylight I felt thankful for being alive.

It’s been just about a month since my friend John has passed and I recalled the words he left for his funeral:

“I am so arrogant and so controlling that yes I wrote my own eugoogly.  I really wanted to say things.  I’m not sure what the turnout looks like but I want to tell all of you some of the guiding principles in my life.  There are about 20 things I can say I did every day that made me the way I am.·

•   Laugh

•  get under someone’s skin for sport

• make a provocative statement which may be true

•  tell a very descriptive story

• make a joke at someone else’s expense

• laugh

• cry

• get angry

• over extend yourself

• give unsolicited advice

• get stressed for no reason

• find one current event to form a crazy opinion on and tell everyone you can think of

• laugh

• cry

• and love the people in your life

Today you came for some reason but I liked to think you’d be here to honor what I wanted.  I had every right to not write a word to anyone.  I had every right to not see anyone.  And I had every right to quit so long ago.  I don’t know who is here obviously, but I hope that whoever is here, and whoever wanted to be here is what I imagined I left behind.  And that is an army of people who knew that I loved them as much as I could.  Who will always remember me as I hoped they would and not whatever I became as my mind wilted away or as my strength disappeared.

And I’d also ask that when you shed tears, when you get angry or feel agony, when you want to look at the sky with anger and want to shout, that instead you use that energy to make a difference in a way that aligns with the goal I have had all along.  That goal was to have people I met think they were a little better for having known me.  Guess I was the first one to go to bed at this party but don’t worry I’ll see you all on the other side.  Count on it.”

I am going to try to laugh as much as possible and make others do the same.  Every day counts.  Every single day.


Wardrobe WOES

The interns dress cooler than me.  It’s not speculation, it’s a fact.  I’m guessing this fact is because of the following reasons (and probably more)

1.  Interns have tons of money to spend on clothes (i.e. they live with their parents and get to spend whatever money they DO have).  They’re just so current and fresh and put together – it’s so frustrating!

2.  Interns care a LOT more.  Sometimes it just comes down to how much someone cares.  Don’t get me wrong, I care what I look like but there was a time when I would go out and buy something to wear to work the next day (when I worked in fashion) just to look cool.  Now I just make sure I look presentable and clean and slightly cooler than as many people as possible.  (ENTER interns UGH).

3.  They have more time to do things like curl their hair apply loads of makeup.  Since the “summer” has begun I have been making sure that I at least put makeup on before work – not just before client meetings, but I’m still not up to snuff with their Smashbox infused mugs.

4.  Interns are younger.  I mean that’s probably one of my biggest issues; they’re younger than me!  In my 28th year I think back to being 21 and and can’t even remember how many cares I had beyond making sure me and my college boyfriend would make it through my first year in NY (we didn’t).  This carpe diem mentality most likely adds to that fresh faced look I covet.

5.  Interns want a job.  I think this is when I start to realize that I should be thankful I have a job at my company and not be so focused on what the $10/hour interns are wearing.  I’m established, I have an assistant, I have clients who adore me (I hope) and no one is looking at what I’m wearing (something my mom used to say which I have since realized is a lie).

Moral of the story – I need a few new envy worthy outfits to wear once a week for the next 8 weeks.  Come fall, I’m back to my old Tomboy self.