Bachelor Recap: No spoilers on this site.

Recap as told by me and my enthusiastic friend Emily.  You probably don’t even need to watch the ep just read this post.

GreenyEm829 (9:47:19 AM): do NOT read reality steve.
Cans321 (9:47:28 AM): why why why why
GreenyEm829 (9:47:35 AM): b/c he gives SO many spoiler alerts
GreenyEm829 (9:47:37 AM): including, the winner
Cans321 (9:53:22 AM): SHUT UP
Cans321 (9:53:24 AM): did you read?
GreenyEm829 (9:53:29 AM): yes.
Cans321 (9:53:34 AM): SHOOT
GreenyEm829 (9:53:37 AM): i can handle it.
GreenyEm829 (9:53:39 AM): although,
GreenyEm829 (9:53:44 AM): its so fucking good, iwish i didnt know
GreenyEm829 (9:53:55 AM): but you shouldnt. you will thank me.
GreenyEm829 (9:53:58 AM): its ridiculous.
GreenyEm829 (9:54:27 AM): reality steve is SO mean to chris harrison too- and it pisses me off.
Cans321 (9:54:43 AM): i need to
Cans321 (9:54:45 AM): its like crack
GreenyEm829 (9:54:54 AM): because if god took a human form on planet earth, it’d b e chris.
Cans321 (9:55:04 AM): HAHAHAHAHAAH
GreenyEm829 (9:55:21 AM): i really believe that.
Cans321 (9:55:33 AM): I know, it’s scary
GreenyEm829 (9:58:19 AM): rozalyn was the poor man’s scojo.
Cans321 (9:59:26 AM): TOTE
GreenyEm829 (9:59:46 AM): um
GreenyEm829 (9:59:48 AM): wait for it….
GreenyEm829 (9:59:53 AM): in jake’s blog on people,
GreenyEm829 (10:00:01 AM): he says, “ali is a doll-face.”
GreenyEm829 (10:00:04 AM): and….. you’re gay.
Cans321 (10:01:34 AM): wait
Cans321 (10:01:40 AM): i think she is a doll face
GreenyEm829 (10:01:44 AM): well yeah
GreenyEm829 (10:01:49 AM): but boys dont call girls doll-facse.
Cans321 (10:01:52 AM): can i be honest
GreenyEm829 (10:01:55 AM): thats for grandmas and gay men
Cans321 (10:01:58 AM): if i was on the show
Cans321 (10:02:03 AM): I would be SO geyed out
Cans321 (10:02:06 AM): i’d probably leave
GreenyEm829 (10:02:12 AM): allli.
GreenyEm829 (10:02:23 AM): take those words
GreenyEm829 (10:02:31 AM): and put them back in your mouth.
Cans321 (10:02:36 AM): I would Emily.
GreenyEm829 (10:02:38 AM): and think about what you just said.
Cans321 (10:02:53 AM): how about when he plays peek-a-boo
Cans321 (10:02:58 AM): when he’s coming out in his suit
GreenyEm829 (10:03:01 AM): ha ha ha
Cans321 (10:03:04 AM): like we’ve never seen him with his shirt off
Cans321 (10:03:07 AM): come awn
Cans321 (10:06:16 AM): do you think Vienna is prettier in person?
Cans321 (10:06:17 AM): she has to be
GreenyEm829 (10:06:24 AM): did you read reality steve?
GreenyEm829 (10:06:33 AM): ali- she’s cross eyed for christ’s sake
GreenyEm829 (10:06:39 AM): she cant be uglier in person, that’s for usre
GreenyEm829 (10:06:45 AM): but the camera doesnt lie.
Cans321 (10:07:17 AM): she needs waterproof mascara
Cans321 (10:07:19 AM): and like
Cans321 (10:07:27 AM): when did extensions become socially acceptable
GreenyEm829 (10:07:45 AM): shes so ugly
GreenyEm829 (11:42:14 AM): funny thing about th water proof mascara
GreenyEm829 (11:42:22 AM): i think the producer MUST provdied them with it.
Cans321 (11:42:39 AM): which one…the one that porked Roz
GreenyEm829 (11:42:49 AM): HAHAHAH
GreenyEm829 (11:42:53 AM): camera man # 4
GreenyEm829 (11:43:06 AM): like, ladies, didnt realize jim the donut guy wasnt there anymore?
Cans321 (10:09:19 AM): sometimes
Cans321 (10:09:22 AM): i want extensions
Cans321 (10:09:25 AM): but then i think better of it
GreenyEm829 (10:09:32 AM): i think they smell
GreenyEm829 (10:09:35 AM): like, you cant wash your hair
Cans321 (10:12:23 AM): shit’s gross
Cans321 (10:12:27 AM): but like
GreenyEm829 (10:12:42 AM): i mean, do i wish i had kim kardashian hair?
GreenyEm829 (10:12:45 AM): yes, yes mama likey.
Cans321 (10:12:56 AM): but lke
Cans321 (10:13:01 AM): Rozyln
Cans321 (10:13:05 AM): how’d she take them out
GreenyEm829 (10:13:07 AM): idk
GreenyEm829 (10:13:09 AM): but she did.
GreenyEm829 (10:13:13 AM): it aws a bump-it?
GreenyEm829 (10:13:31 AM): i’ll take this moment in time to say, I really want to try a bump-it.
Cans321 (10:13:48 AM): i know you do.
Cans321 (10:13:59 AM): you need to divert away from 2005 Nicole RIchie
Cans321 (10:14:04 AM): may she RIP
GreenyEm829 (10:14:16 AM): ha ha hah ah ha hah ah
GreenyEm829 (10:14:23 AM): noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Cans321 (10:14:25 AM): cute little rexi
GreenyEm829 (10:14:40 AM): i covet her
GreenyEm829 (10:14:50 AM): 2003-2006.
Cans321 (10:14:54 AM): WAIT
Cans321 (10:15:01 AM): what about The Simple Life
GreenyEm829 (10:15:02 AM): btw are you LOVING the new alicia keys song?
Cans321 (10:15:05 AM): are you just blocking that out?
GreenyEm829 (10:15:07 AM): well, minus the simps.
GreenyEm829 (10:15:12 AM): blocking that.
Cans321 (10:15:22 AM): I think she rocked over-all shorts
Cans321 (10:15:27 AM): and her chub was hanging out
Cans321 (10:15:32 AM): was she still on Heroin at this point?
GreenyEm829 (10:15:34 AM): true we dont talk about the simps
GreenyEm829 (10:15:35 AM): yes
GreenyEm829 (10:15:44 AM): that was a mistake.
Cans321 (10:15:57 AM): is Joel Madden cute?
GreenyEm829 (10:16:12 AM): is that her life partner?
Cans321 (10:16:17 AM): are they married?
GreenyEm829 (10:16:18 AM): no.
GreenyEm829 (10:16:20 AM): idk?
Cans321 (10:16:24 AM): you should
GreenyEm829 (10:16:27 AM): i know.
Cans321 (10:16:34 AM): of all peeps.
GreenyEm829 (10:16:34 AM): one sec.
GreenyEm829 (10:16:57 AM): i dont think tehy are
Cans321 (10:17:11 AM): living in sin.
Cans321 (10:17:12 AM): got it
GreenyEm829 (10:17:23 AM): ha ha ha

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