Planit Christmas

Yankee gift exchange at Planit…Catered by Hooters

Mama Mia/Jiffy pop combo
Bottle of Delirium
Drug paraphernalia
The Original Shticks
6-pack of Dos Equis
The Perfect Push up
K-cups and $5 gift card to Panera
Three half gallons of milk with the label “Three Teets Milk”
Guiness Pint Glasses (regift)
“Genuine Leather Jacket”
Box of Chocolates
Bottle of Grey Goose
Liquor Minis hidden in a text book
Rick Dempsy Christmas CD
Box of cheeseburgers
Crown Royale
Barnes N Noble Gift Certificate

Gossip Girl: Because watching pretty girls get left at the scene of a car accident just brings us a little joy.

One thing that’s hard for me since school started, is falling behind in my TV shows.  I used to have time for them all, but since my HBO favorites have ended all I have in my queue on DVR is Gossip Girl…sweet Gossip Girl.  Anyone who doesn’t watch can talk as much shit as they want, I’ll just pity you.  Better than the show itself is the recap written by the hilarious Chris Rovzar and Jessica Pressler from New York Magazine. The NY Mag Gossip Girl Recap is one of the reasons I even watch the show.

gossip girl
Gossip Girl’s sensibility is absurd which is what makes it so great.  I end up sitting alone in my apt on the edge of my couch clutching a coffee mug screaming “NO WAY” and “SHUT UP” and laughing out loud.  The last time I was entertained like this was in college when I found my boyfriend doing naked snow angels in the quad.

Monday’s ep, for those of you who watch, was particularly absurd.  Because there was no big club opening, cocktail party, charity ball, or silent auction at the end of the episode they had to have a car crash.  At least it was Serena in the passenger seat!  Eye candy that she is I wouldn’t watch the show without her but just like any girl that acts like she’s too good for the world, I don’t mind watching her get a little scratched up.  I love how she looks for the dood that is completely going to screw her over because let’s be real we all feel more comfortable when the pretty blond gets ditched.  Also love when Maureen pulls out the Jackie/Marilyn comment.  The funny thing is, Serena secretly or not so secretly loves being Marilyn because she fails to realize that she doesn’t get the man and dies of an overdose.  Aw Serena, you’re pretty.

I really couldn’t get beyond that this week.  The Jenny/Eric truce cannot be real, especially when he finds out she’s been pushing speed for YSL bags for her 15 yr old minions.

Looking forward to Rufus wigging out and doing some retail therapy at Urban Outfitters for some new flannels AND maybe a little nookie with a member of the co-op board!

Have a feeling they’re going to hold out on us a few weeks before they give us the mother load.  I guess I’ll just focus on finals until then!

ABC for Adults?: Tuesday Lunch Club gets real

  • If Heather misses one more lunch club she’s getting kicked out
  • It’s sandwich day at the lunch club
  • My bread only has 45 calories per slice and Mike points out that it’s because it’s half the size of normal bread
  • Tashia says that black people don’t put a lot of fixings on their sandwiches and they only use Kraft cheese slices
  • I challenge saying that just because she likes it that way doesn’t mean all black people do
  • She agrees and takes a bit of her turkey bologna sandwich with nothing else on it
  • Somehow we start talking about meat on the bone and I remind them that I hate it
  • Tashia claims her dad makes fried chicken sandwiches with the bones intact
  • Both Mike and I challenge and say there is no way that is true
  • Mike’s going to New York this weekend
  • Tashia says “Ali HATES New York”
  • I say no I don’t I lived there for over three years, I was just ready for a change
  • Tashia says I’ll probably start hating Baltimore soon saying that it’s a shit hole and dangerous
  • Yeah probably
  • I say I would never get sick of Connecticut
  • Tashia asks if black people are allowed in Connecticut
  • Yeah probably
  • Tashia asks if she can be a part of the ABC program in CT for adults
  • ABC (A Better Chance) in CT is only for high school kids but we’re pretty sure they should start one for young adults
  • T says her sponsors would pay for her car (although she’s only allowed to total it once and get one DUI), pay for her to go to graduate school (although she’s only allowed to fail out once), and let her stay on the family plan until she’s 35

Tuesday Lunch Club: Tashia Learns About Double Negatives

Today’s lunch club was missing Heather because she had a “work lunch” and Mike didn’t join for the eating part because he needs to eat EXACTLY at 1:00p.m. but the excitement was still there.

Minutes:

  • Tashia and I fight for about 5 minutes because Tashia is texting one of her million cousins or aunts or something and has her head in her Blackberry
  • Mike hears us fighting so he comes in and kind of stands around listening
  • I asks Heather R., who’s passing through the kitchen if I looks like a young Jewish mother
  • Heather R. says yes, and all I need is a Black SUV, dark lipstick and a huge engagement ring
  • Tashia says all Jewish men love black girls
  • Mike and I want proof
  • Tashia says that when she’s on the train all of the men wearing Harmonicas on their heads look at her like they want to take her home and Hanukkah her to death
  • Mike looks like he’s going spit up his rold golds he had as a snack at lunch
  • Tashia sits straight faced and we realize she’s serious
  • Tashia then says that black men don’t like her and call her the “girl that got away” and white men don’t like her because she’s too strong and doesn’t cry enough and says she’s interested in Japanese men
  • Mike said he wouldn’t put peppers on his cheesteak and Tashia is offended and tells him “aint nothing wrong with my cheesteak”
  • Ali teaches Tashia about double negatives
  • Tashia retorts with the fact that “aint” is not an actual word
  • Mike says it’s in the dictionary
  • Tashia looks at Mike and asks him if his girlfriend has ever told him he’s a good kisser because he has beautiful lips
  • Mike responds quickly  “yes” and I turn BRIGHT red and say that this is not office talk
  • I tell Tashia she doesn’t put enough ketchup on her french fries