Goodbye sunshine, hello jaundice.

Right? The one thing I’ve said to my little 10 and 12 year old sisters that has stuck is “Everything looks better with a tan” and that is no coincidence.  It is true!!! I need to book my next vacation somewhere warm because although I believe in being tan, I gave up the tanning bed when I turned 25 (lie-ish).  If you don’t agree with me then you’re trying to be early 1900’s boug-ey on me.  No I don’t work in the fields, I have a vacation home in the South of France thank you very little.

kelly ripa

I understand it is impossible to be tan year round (if you live north of the mason-dixon) because that is absurd, but pale is unacceptable.  So from Oct-Jan it’s alright to be slightly less tan (hint: use a good tinted moisturizer) but you should probably book a vacay in Jan/Feb because Winter lasts until the middle of March in the Northeast.

What I can’t understand is why my sister and brother who live in AZ look like Edward and Alice Cullen.  I understand that they have jobs, but I feel like if I lived somewhere warm I would probably lay out on my lunch break and before work maybe if I was feeling especially pale.

As you can probably guess, I’m getting the “it’s almost winter” dread.  My last piece of advice is to try and stay away from sunless tanners because it makes you look desperate and poor; two things I am certainly not.

The perfect fall staple

I like my leather jackets like i like my coffee; camel colored.  I’ve never seen a camel in person, but when ever I have asked someone to get me a coffee the color of a camel, I rarely have to give further description (unless the person is an intern and in that case they question EVERY move they make) “you mean like cream or milk and you want sugar right”.  (sigh)

When I was in Nashville I saw the leather jacket that I will lust for until something satisfies me.  Made by Ben Sherman and at a price point of $395 this jacket would go great with just about anything.  Dress down a pencil skirt and dress up a jean!

Love. Die.  NOT too sure about the argyle skirt she’s got going on but I’m so distracted by the jacket I don’t even care.

ben sherman

Ben Sherman Leather Duo Jacket $395 – Select Retailers

So that jacket will sit at the top of my queue until further notice.  At a slightly cheaper price point and slightly less cool I found this Members Only tan leather jacket at Urban Outfitters.

urban outfitters

Members Only Leather Jacket $250 – http://www.urbanoutfitters.com

Like I said, not as cool but cheaper and technically more “camel”.  I’ve always said I’m not cool enough for a leather jacket but I would love one just so I can have “Fonz” Fridays at work.  I feel like Fridays are a good day to wear a leather jacket.

Piggy Figgy Pizza Pie: How you can turn an American classic into rich people food.

Helllooooooooo fall!   I love Sundays and I love Sunday dinners.   Last night I wanted pizza but also wanted to cook so decided to put a spin on the traditional fav!

Piggy Figgy Pizza Pie (I did NOT name it this)

This dish is so boug-ey we felt really rich eating it.  We also wore cashmere so that we would feel even richer.

Prep time: 10 minutes

Cook time: 15 minutes

Safeway bill: $26

Ingredients:

Boboli whole wheat pizza crust

Fig Spread

Gorganzola cheese crumbles

Red Onion (1/4 chopped fine)

Part skim mozzarella cheese shredded

Extra Virgin olive oil

Prosciutto

You can add as much or little of the ingredients as you so choose.  For meat lovers I would say add a little extra Prosciutto and for cheese lovers, go heavy on the mozz.  It took us about 2o minutes to find the delusional fig spread and cost about $7…which is what three slices of pizza from Pasa Mista cost us on Thursday night.   I put a thin layer of the fig spread on the crust first but I would say next time I’ll put an even thinner layer because it is pretty sweet.  I then added the onions, gorg crumbles, prosciutto and mozz goes on last.

We paired it with a chilled pinot grigio that was probably a third of the cost of the meal and was left over from the night before but I would say a red wine would have been a better choice.

Score: 85%

Points were lost for not being enough bang for our buck, something we realized when the roommates came home with $25 worth of sushi (another delusional rich person food) that looked a whole lot better.

Would I make it again? Yes, because I have to finish the fig spread that I spent $7 on.

Tashia’s top 10 reasons she loves white girls.

One of my closest friends from work is an African American female named Tashia.   Not a day goes by that she doesn’t remind me I am not original in my actions, I’m just white.

For example:

1. Jogging in the dark – T says only white girls jog after sundown as if they don’t have a care in the world.  “The reason you don’t see black girls jogging at night is because we know what’s up.”

2.  Hummus and baby carrots – Our fridge at work is overflowing with them and it annoys her because she can’t fit her leftover BBQ food in it.

3.  Rosettes – she said one time she was wearing one (she bought with me) and a white girl looked at her like “where’d you get that idea from?”

4.  White girl sandals – once the weather turns mild around May, T says the white girl sandals come out.  She is referring to Jack Rogers.

5.  Time Travelers Wife – T says you’re not a white girl unless you’ve read this book and recommended it to a bestie.

6.  Dinner Parties – “White girls LOVE dinner parties.”

7.  Wine and cheese when company comes over – she doesn’t understand why I always need to make a trip to Chesapeake Wine Company and Whole Foods before I have company.  When I asked her what she serves her guests she responded with “well we don’t offer snacks and we certainly don’t offer wine.  If they happen to come over while we’re cooking, then they’re in luck!”

8.  Crying after a night out on the town – first of all she REALLY doesn’t understand why we drink and drink so much.  She also doesn’t understand why we get so emotional when we get drunk.   The answer??? (shoulder shrug)

9.  Girl on girl kissing – apparently we think kissing each other is O.K and not gay at all, oh yeah and it’s always “a dare”.  She took a poll in the office and is pretty sure the white girls that said they haven’t kissed a girl are lying.

10.  Last but not least, “WHAT is UP with Nantucket??  “Find me a black person in Nantucket.  You ever seen a black person in Nantucket?”

A conversation between two 26 year olds.  Gossip Girl is NOT something to be messed with.
ryann0077 (1:46:34 PM): but my dvr ran out of space with 5 min left
ryann0077 (1:46:38 PM): i cried, mike laughed.
ryann0077 (1:53:03 PM): tell me now please
Cans321 (1:53:09 PM): there is nothing to tell
ryann0077 (1:53:21 PM): how did dorota take down georgina?
Cans321 (1:53:24 PM): this guy walks up to her and tells her he’s a prince and asks if she wants to fly back to his mother country
Cans321 (1:53:27 PM): and she’s like yea
Cans321 (1:53:42 PM): and then dorota is hiding in the shadows with a walkie talkie or some shit
ryann0077 (1:53:42 PM): walks up to G?
ryann0077 (1:53:47 PM): ooooh
ryann0077 (1:53:55 PM): with her creamy clevage
ryann0077 (1:54:00 PM): i think they’re saying dorota is GG
Cans321 (1:54:08 PM): NO way
Cans321 (1:54:13 PM): NO WAY
Cans321 (1:54:17 PM): its Kristen Bell
ryann0077 (1:54:26 PM): where is she?
ryann0077 (1:54:28 PM): who is she?
ryann0077 (1:54:35 PM): Bree?
Cans321 (1:54:37 PM): that’s a secret ill never tell
ryann0077 (1:54:43 PM): youre annoying
ryann0077 (1:48:47 PM): who’s Kristen Bell on GG
ryann0077 (1:48:51 PM): which character?
Cans321 (1:49:46 PM): she does the GG voice
ryann0077 (1:50:31 PM): i know a-hole
ryann0077 (1:50:38 PM): but do you think she’s somewhere on the show?

Wedding Season: Fact or fiction

First and foremost, I’m not quite sure when wedding season is because it seems as though there are always weddings going on.  I am also pretty sure that when you turn 26 there is a hormone released that makes you feel as though you’re supposed to get married.  Maybe because I went through puberty at 17 I’m behind the times and that is the reason the itch won’t hit me until at least 30.  It was also revealed to me recently that my mother “cannot picture me in a wedding dress”.  She told me not to take it personally, but I’m not quite sure how to take it.  She said she can picture me eloping, pocketing the dough that would be used for a wedding, and then having a bar crawl in celebration of  my union.  Thanks mom!

My boyfriend also recently lamented, “yeah, you’re not much of a dress person”.  When I checked in on fellow T-shirt and jeans gals in the media (Jennifer Aniston, Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson) I realized they too are all ringless, but I’m not making the connection because people like Khloe Kardashian get married.  Enough about me, back to the topic at hand; wedding season.

Although I’ve been in 5 weddings in my life so far and I am bound to be in at least 5 more in the next 5 years I have no idea what weddings actually cost.  Makes sense since I was recently accused of “never looking at the prices on menus”.  I’d rather just not know?? So yeah, NO IDEA what things cost because currently anything over a couple hundred bucks is out of my price range.  According to research I found out that in the United States the average couple spends between $15,299 and $25,498 on their wedding.  Not bad I think to myself until I find out that in Fairfield County, where I’m from, the “average” couple spends $74,810 and $124,683.  I hope you just shit a chicken.  My mom should be thanking her lucky stars she can’t picture me in a wedding dress because I just boosted her retirement plan!  Wedding dresses are costing about $5K so in a CT wedding that leaves about $70-80K unaccounted for.  Oh wait, maybe it’s the $20,000 spent on food/venue, $1,000 spent on cake or $11,000 spent on a tent?? Please refer to http://www.costofwedding.com, very informative!

I’ll tell you what I remember about the two most recent weddings I was at.  At my best friends wedding, I remember the first dance and the bridal party gathering around in a big circle jumping up and down laughing and singing.  I also remember watching them walk down the aisle hand in hand with their pups as if they were the only people that existed.

At my cousins wedding I remember thinking about how my late and great Nana would have hated standing in the sand for the ceremony and how she would have probably stood on the boardwalk with the other old people but I know I would have gotten her on the dance floor.  The highlight was when Miley Cyrus’ “Party in the U.S.A.” came on.  Gotta love that girl for her pep.

ryann and mike

What is the point of this post?  What is the point of any of my posts?  Just wanted to get across that although I get sick at the thought of how much weddings are costing these days, I’m a total sucker for them and cried during the last episode of the Office.  That Chris Brown song legit gives me goosebumps.  SO SUE ME!